Very early on in my thought process about being childfree, I often worried that I might regret not having children. Now that I've thought it through and realized all the amazing things I'll get to have and do since we're not planning on children, and all the drudgery of parenting I won't have to deal with, I don't even think about that. There's no way I would ever regret it! But I'm writing this post for any fencesitters out there who might be worried about this issue.
Basically, if you don't want kids, it makes no sense to have them as some sort of insurance against your personal unhappiness. While there's always the possibility that you might change your mind and it'll be too late to do it the traditional way, it's also true that every child should be 100% wanted. Having a child out of fear for your later unhappiness is selfish.
Plus, having kids is irreversible! Not having them isn't. Having kids is an instant, lifelong commitment. There is no giving them back. While I don't currently see myself ever changing my mind about this issue, at least I can change my mind. Parents can't.
Actually, I think this is another reason why I don't want kids. I'm not really into doing things that are permanent and irreversible. It's one thing to make choices that are permanent because you want them to be, like getting married. But choices that are by their very nature permanent, like getting a tattoo, scare the heck out of me. Having kids is about the most permanent choice you could ever make. I'm much more worried that I might regret having them, than that I might regret not having them.
1 comment:
I feel exactly the same. Once a child is here, you are obligated to it FOREVER regardless of whether you enjoy it, have regrets about it, or wish you could change it. You are in the position of owing that child for the rest of your life and like you, that is a horribly frightening prospect for me, which is why I refuse to have kids.
Great post.
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