Friday, March 28, 2014

Settling In

So I'm almost 34, and things are really settling in for me now with respect to my childfree future. I started this blog when I had just turned 27, and I always knew that I would still feel this way in my mid-30s, but I really get satisfaction from knowing that they're here, and that I was right.

I have to admit, at first my childfree 30s were a little weird. Every single one of our closest friends, who got married the same year we did, now has children. And the few married friends we now have who don't have children are either significantly younger than we are, just got married within the past year, or are medically unable to conceive. My closest female friend still doesn't have kids, but she's also nowhere near getting married -- and she wants kids someday.

So basically, we don't really know ANYONE in our social circle who's made the same decision we have, and this felt weird at first. But, more and more, I'm very comfortable being the odd ones out because I know we've made the right decision for us. I have no idea what to do with children, know very little about them, don't particularly like them, and can't even fathom being responsible for one 24/7. Put me in charge of a little kid for even an hour or two and I start to get twitchy by the end of it. I was not cut out to be a mother, full stop, and if I had been, I'd know it by now.

There's a certain comfort in your 30s that comes with knowing yourself more and more. In the case of my childfreedom, I always knew this was what I wanted, but I only feel better about the decision the older I get and the longer I live with it. And that's the greatest assurance of all that I've made the right choice.