Monday, July 16, 2007

"So, when are YOU going to have a baby?"

One afternoon recently, I walked into the kitchen at work to get a cup of tea. In there was this secretary, Fay. I've known her forever, but not very well.

I'm unsuspectingly flipping through the herbal teas and all of a sudden she goes -- WITHOUT saying hi, how are you or how's your day going?, mind you:

"So, when are YOU going to have a baby?"

I'm totally shocked at the sudden personal question and stammer for a few seconds while making my tea, then finally manage to say, "Not any time soon."

She just laughed.

WTF? Why would anyone ask such a rude question? That was the first time since I've been married that I've actually been asked that, I believe, although the fact that many of our friends and family members are already well aware of my (at best) lack of enthusiasm about kids may have something to do with that.

I really hope this isn't about to become a pattern. I don't mind discussing the subject on my own terms with people close to me, but random inquiries from virtual strangers about our procreation plans -- or lack thereof -- are more than I can handle right now. I don't want to get into a long discussion with this woman or people like her about why I don't want kids. And I feel annoyed because I know perfectly well that with people like that, I can't simply answer truthfully ("Never") and have that be the end of the conversation. Why does she have to be so nosy? It has nothing to do with her, after all.

Which is why she should have just kept her mouth shut.

6 comments:

ubiqwit said...

Ugh, the lack of tact amazes me. You may as well ask "So, when are YOU going to go on a diet?"

Anyway, I wrote an article on the childfree issue which has some reasons that you can cite in your defense.

Here's the link

Enjoy.

ubiqwit said...

Ugh, the lack of tact amazes me. You may as well ask "So, when are YOU going to go on a diet?"

Anyway, I wrote an article on the childfree issue which has some reasons that you can cite in your defense.

Here's the link

Enjoy.

Childfree Chick said...

Whenever people ask me that I just tell them I already have two...they might have fur and whiskers but they're MY BABIES.

And that's as good as it's gonna get as far as me having dependents dammit.

Childfree in NYC said...

Ubiqwit - love the article! Thanks.

CC, I totally agree about the furbabies. We have a kitty too and she's more like a daughter to us than anything else I ever plan on having. :-)

Feh23 said...

My current favorite, and by favorite I mean it chaps my ass more than anything, is now that I'm getting married, most of my younger friends like to ask when we're going to have kids, even though they know full well the answer is, as it always was, Never.

Is re-reminding them that I'll never have children sufficent? No. They ALWAYS follow up with "oh you'll change your mind" and I always follow up with "Wow, since you're a mind reader now, you probably know where I think you can shove your opinions on this topic".

Mo said...

My favorite answer is along the lines of something like: "We haven't really decided yet, but we do know It's either going to be right before or right after monkeys fly out of my ass."

That usually shuts 'em up.