Wednesday, September 12, 2007

"Congratulations!"

Number of people who have now "congratulated" me on being pregnant: 4, in under 2 months.

Number of people who have asked whether I am before doing so: 0.

MEMO TO ALL MY ACQUAINTANCES: I'M NOT PREGNANT. AND ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS ME KNOWS IT. PLEASE STOP EMBARRASSING ME AND YOURSELVES AND KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS SHUT.

Yes, I am trying to lose a bit of weight around the middle to stop this. But I refuse to blame it all on myself. I'm only 145 lbs. and 5'5"! My BMI is in the healthy range -- according to the medical profession, I'm not even overweight. Millions of men walk around every day with huge beer guts and don't have to endure this.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?

The next person who comments on this is gonna get decked. I'm through being polite. I'm just going to punch them.

3 comments:

Diya said...

They want we should also engage in natural reproduction process just like they did !!

I think people do get jealous with childfree couples specially if couples are enjoying and thanks to CF status.

Keep it up ! I still hope you never get pregnant !! It is now few months since you have set this CF goal, miles to go :)

Feh23 said...

They say "Congratulations!"
I say "Fuck you!"

Really, if you don't use manners, then I don't have to either.

Kerry said...

I feel for you, I do. The one time it happened to me it had me in tears.

What would be hilarious is to say something like "Well, it's not really luck. The birth control really deserves the credit. Thank God I can still drink!" I bet the look on their faces is pricless.